Collaborative Divorce and Mediation Frequently Asked Questions
What are the advantages and disadvantages of mediating an irreconcilable differences divorce before filing?
The advantage of mediating your divorce before filing or involving attorneys is generally the cost savings.
Between both spouses, you are probably looking at $4000 – $10000 to have two attorneys negotiate the terms of your amicable divorce and finalize everything and some people do not have those funds.
If you reach an agreement in mediation in one day, you will probably be able to finalize your divorce for $2000-$3000 between the mediator costs and fees paid to one attorney to finalize the paperwork for your uncontested divorce.
Also, even if you don’t settle, you now have an idea of where the problem or conflict is and you can focus your attorney search to find someone who is good at representing people regarding that issue and perhaps limit your costs in a contested divorce.
The disadvantage is that you may not reach an agreement and will end up in court anyway, or you may regret moving forward without an attorney if you opted to mediate on your own without counsel.
You must also be careful about mediating too early when you have not figured out what your post-divorce expenses will be or what is best for your kids.
I keep hearing about collaborative law, what is it?
Collaborative law is a new tool being used to help reach an agreement in divorce cases without the stress and animosity of divorce litigation.
The goal is to remove the marital unit from the courtroom as much as possible and instead of acting as adversaries, the parties come together with their attorneys to problem solve and trouble shoot in an attempt to facilitate a divorce settlement that works best for everyone as opposed to everyone trying to win a game where everyone is destined to lose.
Collaborative law is confidential and if it fails you must obtain new counsel and cannot use information learned during the collaborative process.
It works well in cases with minor children, people who are socially active, or will have ongoing business relationships because it does not cause the same long-seeded animosity and hatred that often follows extensive divorce litigation and helps keep your personal business private.
What is the difference between collaborative law and mediation?
Both collaborative law and mediation are confidential out of court processes where we try to focus on needs and interests rather than judicial tendencies and positions in the hopes the parties can be more focused on settlement and be able to be more amicable during the process and afterward.
Mediation can be voluntary or court-ordered, but it means two parties coming together to try to hammer out an agreement to avoid litigation in court.
Both collaborative law and mediation try to avoid the hammer of litigation and involve a more active negotiation style than standard divorce litigation.
Collaborative law also sometimes involved third parties neutrals including mediators, as well as financial advisors, counselors, and CPAs.
Both mediation and collaborative law offer individuals more control over the process than if they litigate immediately.
Collaborative law is generally preferred to mediation for complex marital estates if the case is in its early stages because the more complex cases may not be ready for mediation early on and may require additional work such as appraisals or custody evaluations.
What is Rule 31 Mediation?
Rule 31 mediation is a process in which a Rule 31 listed mediator (someone who has special training required by the State of Tennessee to act as a mediator) conducts discussions and negotiations among the parties in a way designed to enable them to reach a mutually acceptable agreement among themselves on all or any part of their disputed issues.
Does collaborative law work?
Collaborative law is not for everyone and you will need to discuss the options at your initial consultation with your attorney.
However, given that collaborative law practitioners will steer you away from the area if it is a bad fit and it requires an agreement by both parties to participate, most cases do wind up settling during the collaborative process.
Do you only mediate for pro se litigants?
No, we conduct mediations for people representing themselves as well as people who are represented by attorneys.
The mediations are conducted differently, but the same skills are used to reach an agreement in both.
Do my spouse and I both need our own mediator?
No. The mediator does not represent you or your spouse, they are a third-party neutral. If anything, your mediator is representing “the deal.”
You and your spouse should select the mediator together, but the mediator is barred from giving either you or your spouse individual legal advice, they can only give legal information.
Do I need an attorney to attend mediation?
Some people chose to have an attorney for mediation and others do not and proceed “pro se” or represent themselves in mediation. It is our suggestion that if the other party has an attorney you have one as well.
For some couples, paying attorneys is just not financially feasible. In this case, if neither party has an attorney, we strongly suggest you select a Rule 31 mediator who is also an attorney and practices divorce law before your judge to help ensure you don’t accidentally reach an agreement in mediation that your judge will not be willing to sign.
Yes, the judge can deny your settlement agreement.
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Collaborative Divorce
We can work with you through this process in collaboration with the other party.
Divorce Mediation
We can mediate for you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse to find a satisfactory resolution.